No matter how hard I work, I still a specialist.

After 4 years in the army... I getting less and less motivated. As much as I want recongnition for my work, the "feeling good" feeling when people tell you that you are there there la. But more then often, people dont see it that way. They remember the bads rather then the goods. And often they take it for granted, that I should or should I say my peeps and I do that cause it part of my job scope.. Since when it stated, that I should require to know, how to operate a PA system, doing live camera feeds, knowing the skills of video editing, even down to fixing wooden cupboards.

But then no matter how much I work, how well I did, how best I score. There is no difference from my peeps of the same rank, we still draw the same pay, we still have the same benefits. And best of all, for a certain event, just because I turn up, I kana arrow to do a certain bo liao task. And the one who chao gen, find excuses, medical appointment, or even LATE, get away with nothing. So what for I am so gilat for? Maybe a few years back, when I still a fresh 3SG, you ask me jump down a plane, climb a mountain, I would still go. Now you ask me to do that, I would ask for what?

For that pathetic 0.25 different? What I refering here is the perfomance bonous for every April, it to grade you and tell you how well you did for that past one year. If you are average you get 0.5 of ya pay. If you are slightly better, you get 0.25 more. But when I say slightly better you mus be in the top 10%. Hello.. there more then 100 over soilders of the same rank. How am I going to complete.. esp when my boss does not even give a damn about me.. All he does is give me a pat on my back and say a job well done.. And for tat 0.25, I must work my ass off, be a clown and suck up to my boss.

Now that is what I dont like to do. SUCK UP. I here to work, not here to "POR"... And my ex boss still can tell me:"You should go for communication courses, so you would know how to talk to your superior and your guys better."

Seh.. we are in the army.. You expect me to tell the enemey:" Gentleman, Kindly put down your weapons, PLEASE!!!, I may require to shoot and I dont want to. O yah you look good today."

And for your info, Officer get average 1.5 for the PB. And their monthly pay is about 0.25 higher then mine, depending on whether you are a scholar(local/oversea), dip holder. So that alot of different. And all they do is open their mouth and expect things to be done.

So I can pretty much say, Army not for me.... Guess I may leave sooner then I expected.